How many activities is too many for an elementary aged child?  You want to give them a chance to try out different things, right?  How are they going to know what they like and what they don’t if they don’t get a chance to try them?  I am wondering though at what cost this may have.  Family dinners are already few and far between.  I am nervous we are going to end up on the go every night.  We are going to have to get creative when it comes to homework.  Luckily for us homework is only reading a book and a worksheet here or there.

There are so many options nowadays.  We have gymnastics, soccer, t-ball, and dance to choose from.  I am sure there are others out there that I am missing.

Next comes how to optimize our schedule.  What things can we stop doing?  What things can we outsource?  I am lucky enough to already have someone clean the house once a week. I am signed up for Shipt too, maybe I’ll use that a little more.

I know we’ll get through this.  It was really awesome today to hear from someone that’s been in the same boat and survived.  At the same time I can’t help but think I’ve gotten in over my head.

Being a working mom feels like the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life.  If I think hard enough there are a few things that come in a close second, but most of the time I feel like I am at the brink of a breakdown.  I really wish I had a crystal ball to look into the future to help me know if I am making the right decisions.  I think the working mom vs stay at home mom debate is almost as polar as the two political parties.  I chose the working mom path because to me the pro’s outweighed the con’s.

This morning I got the luxury of ‘almost’ just worrying about getting myself out the door.  I say almost because about 10 minutes after I got out of bed, after almost falling back asleep, I had to lay down and get the baby back to sleep.  This put me behind schedule and that compounded with the fact that I didn’t want to do my workout this morning so I chose to productively procrastinate almost made me on time, when I should have been almost a half hour early. I’ll be the first to admit that I shouldn’t have worried about the dishes this morning, but in the back of my mind I knew if I didn’t do them this morning than more than likely I’d have an even bigger mess this afternoon.

For the most part I like what I do.  Unfortunately it typically consists of battling one problem after another leaving me mentally exhausted by time I leave.  Before kids this wasn’t a big deal because I could stay as late as I needed to then go home and crash on the couch.  Now most days I pick them up, battle the baby to get her into her car seat and go home only to unload everything I needed for the day and pack new stuff for the next day all while feeling guilty about not playing with my toddler and thinking that if dinner doesn’t get started soon she could go from happy to hangry in the next hour or so.

I’ve seriously debated hiring some help.  It would be amazing to come home to a clean house and dinner ready every day.  I have also debated just accepting it as it is knowing that in only a few short years’ things will be different.  One of my favorite sayings is “The days are long, but the years are short” so I know eventually it’ll pass, but holy cow are those days long.

I am not looking for encouragement, sympathy, or support necessarily.  I just needed to vent in hopes of letting some of this anxiety go.  If you are going through something similar just know that you are not alone.  If you need to chat, just send me an email or message.

My biggest fear with having a second child is that I would lose the bond I have with my first child.  She was my first baby, my first everything.  She has made me see life in such a different, simpler way.  I love that she looked up to me, worked out with me, and wanted me to cuddle with her first thing in the morning and last thing at night.

I was anxious about the arrival of our second because that meant I’d have to share my time.  I didn’t know how she would react.  Luckily for us baby’s sleep a lot in the beginning.  I am able to get up early and spend time with baby 2 and then lay her back down when my toddler wakes up.  I am also incredibly grateful that my toddler absolutely loves her baby sister.  She is a big help when it comes to getting bibs or blankets.  She loves to hold her and watch cartoons.  I had read somewhere that you don’t really share or split your love after you have another child, your ability to love just gets greater.  I didn’t believe this at first, but I am experiencing it for myself firsthand this past few weeks.

It is truly amazing to me how children change your life and perspective on life.  While some would argue that it is an instant change, for me the change has been gradual.  There are still a lot of things I haven’t changed about myself because I believe it is important to take care of yourself first and foremost.  Some things though, like taking vacations and holidays have a whole new meaning.  I’ll take being late to work because I am cuddling with my daughters any day if that means it makes them happy.

I can’t wait to see what the future holds for my two girls.  I am looking forward to seeing my toddler develop into an amazing big sister.  I can’t wait to see my youngest go from baby to toddler over the next few years.  I don’t want either of these to come too fast, but I know it is inevitable so I am going to take a step back and enjoy these next years because I don’t want to miss anything.

As I am nearing the end of my second and final pregnancy I can’t help but feel overly emotional about everything.  On top being busy with work, still having to take care of a toddler and a household, and just plain being exhausted I feel like I haven’t had much time to prepare myself for how my life is going to change in the next couple of weeks.

The first thing I am struggling to deal with is that my first daughter won’t be the center of attention anymore.  I get that she’ll always be my baby, but she’s already gone from being a baby to a sassy little toddler.  Most of the time when I am home we are inseparable.  That has its ups and downs, but she wants me to help her go to the bathroom or when it’s time for bed we snuggle up together in mommy’s bed.  Honestly sometimes I would just like a little break, but I know she won’t be little for long.  Although somewhat controversial I really enjoying co-sleeping with her.  The first time she told me she loved me was when she was laying down with me.  She always hugs me like 10 times before she falls asleep.  I have also heard that when they get older they tend to really open up with their feelings and how their day went right before they go to sleep.  Despite the judgmental looks I get I’ll stick with my choice to develop a close bond with my child.

The second thing I am also really struggling with, that I should probably just let go for right now, is how I am going to manage working with being a mom to two kids.  I don’t want to sound like this entire burden is on my shoulders and I do have a husband that help out, when he can.  I think we can also admit though when the kids are young it is typically the mom that bears the brunt of the burden to make sure they are taken care of.  It’s just in our nature.  I will admit though, despite my husband’s protests, I am looking into all of the meal home delivery programs as well as a housekeeper.  I will be trying them all so check in later to see my reviews of each of them.  I also hate to clean.  To me paying someone to come out and take care of all the things I don’t want to just seem’s worth it.

So if you have any other tips or tricks I can use to prepare myself for baby #2 please share them with me.  I am looking forward to some downtime over the next couple of months, but I don’t want to be bored like I was last time with baby 1 after a few weeks.